Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

Why are white women so overly emotional?

I have complete contempt for fakery

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

People Are Sharing Things America Actually Gets Right, And It's Surprisingly Heartwarming To Read - BuzzFeed

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

Sarepta reports second patient death after treatment with Duchenne gene therapy - statnews.com

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I can count

2025 U.S. Open Sunday odds, picks: Proven golf model reveals updated projected leaderboard, surprising predictions - SportsLine

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

Was Adam white or black (African)?

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I can read

Scientists Are Getting Closer to Finding Evidence of the Fifth Force - Yahoo

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

Why should we share our wife with others?

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

What should I do? I'm 17 and I'm dating a 23-year-old guy.

I don’t buy bullshit

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

What's your love story?

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I actually pay taxes

What can I do to deal with disrespectful children?

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

Are there really people who still believe the Earth is flat?

I don’t cotton to rapists

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I see through liars

How do I cope with the fact that I will never have a girlfriend?

I have a reading level above third grade

I understand how hurricane paths work

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

How many wishes do people get on their birthday?

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

Why do some men like older women?

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

What happens if someone fills up their car at the pump but leaves without paying? How is this situation typically handled?

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight